The A-Maze-ing Jo Martinez and the Criminal Clown Posse
by aikakone
Summary: During Jo's weekend off, her niece's birthday party takes a dark turn after the clowns gas everyone and throw them into a maze. Using only her wits, Jo has to organize everyone and get them out. [Tumblr anon ask box prompt]


"Mike, have you seen Jo?" Henry asked the detective. He had something he wanted to share with the woman, and only Hanson would know where she was.

"She's got time off, Doc," he replied as he organized his desk and tried to clear off paperwork.

"I thought you were both supposed to use your leave at the same time," Henry said suspiciously.

Hanson shrugged his shoulders. "You obviously understood wrong. I've got some things to do here, and she's got some days off. Went to see some of Sean's family. There's a niece or a cousin with a birthday, I think."

"Ah, right. Well, thank you, detective," Henry said, turning his pocket watch over and over in his fingers. It wasn't that Jo couldn't have time off. He just felt vaguely uncomfortable when she wasn't around.

Henry walked out of the precinct into his own weekend. There had been fewer homicides lately, which would be a good thing for humanity. It was a bad, or at least boring, thing for a medical examiner. He guessed he could clean his lab at the antique shop again, but there was only so clean it could become.

* * *

It was the clowns, Jo realized. She'd never been one to fear clowns. She knew they got a bad rap and hated it. She knew, too, the way they could be used to create fear. Still, clowns never made her afraid. They should have.

The troupe of clowns at Gracie's birthday party had been entertaining kids and grown ups alike. She thought she could enjoy the fun of a birthday party for Sean's niece. His sister still treated Jo like family, and to that the detective was thankful. It was painful to lose someone and then have the family cut you off like it was nothing.

But the reason she and the other attendees of Gracie's birthday party were in the center of a ridiculous maze were because the clowns had gassed them.

She had been talking to the other adults just fine. For a child's birthday party with her as the childless widow, it was going remarkably well. The children were behaving as well as could be considered for the upperclass indulged set. The clowns had started making balloon animals, only it wasn't noble gas in the tank but something much more sinister.

The clowns herded them all into the middle of the maze laughing like the Joker from the old Batman series with Adam West. Her recollection was so vague it was like the fog of anesthesia. But at the end of it all, all the adults and children were in the center with no way out. No phones or wallets, either. The clown heist had been rather complete. Since the parents of the children were with them, there wouldn't likely be any other parents or nannies coming to pick up the children. They were all stuck together.

Jo's post anesthesia headache was killing her like a bourbon hangover. Not that she knew anything about _that_.

"Where are we?" Jo finally asked her sister-in-law Gina. "You didn't put a maze on your estate, did you?"

"No," the woman murmured helplessly. She was trying to spot her daughter Gracie, who wasn't on the ground with the kids. "Where's my daughter? I don't know how we got here, but did the clowns leave her behind?"

Jo looked around. The children were all sleeping on the ground as if they'd been thrown there like piles of laundry. The amount of gas they took was probably too much for their smaller bodies. The adults were starting to come out of the trance, and none of them were happy.

"Let's stay calm, everyone. Let's find out if anyone is missing," Jo said in her detective at a crime scene voice.

"What makes you the boss?" one mother asked. Jo remembered this woman as the sponsor of the local Girl Scouts troop. While the Scouts were a good organization, this woman was the ultimate in stage mothering.

"The fact that I'm an NYPD detective makes me the boss. Do you have any survival skills that you've learned with your girls that you want to share with us? Be brief," Jo said, trying to balance her own leadership with the help of someone, however annoying, who might have skills to get people out of their situation.

Gina looked upset that she hadn't yet found Gracie, but the birthday girl could have walked down one of the many arms of the maze. This wasn't going to be easy. Jo only dimly paid attention to the scout leader's explanation of how to use a wristwatch as a makeshift compass in the wilderness. Their maze hedge was quite high, so they'd better find a way out, soon.

"Do you think we can just go through the walls?" Gina asked as she came beside Jo. The woman was rubbing her hands over her upper arms, looking forlorn.

"I think we are better sticking to the path. There could be animals and water traps. I didn't pay much attention to this when it was being made, but I remember a little from when I read stories about mazes as a little girl," Jo said with a shy smile.

"Gina, you coordinate the mothers. We need to make sure all the people stick together. Do one of those games with the kids to trick them into hand holding. Train or something. I don't care what you do as long as it works."

In full authority, Jo turned to the scouting mother. "You're Lauren, right? Lauren, you find out if anyone has any supplies. I've got absolutely nothing on me. No phone, no gun…"

"You brought a gun to a children's birthday party?" Lauren asked in horror.

Jo sighed and resisted the urge to tell her that she brought her gun everywhere. Some people felt naked without their watch. She felt naked without her gun.

"We need to get out of here, and it's all about teamwork. Isn't that one of the core values to the Girl Scouts?" Jo didn't know for sure if that was true, but as an organization with a generally good reputation, that seemed to be true.

Gina had gone into mother mode creating a story that Jo loved for the spontaneity of it. She was telling the children who were finally waking up that they were playing a hide and seek game that was all part of Gracie's birthday party. Because she was the birthday girl, she was hiding. The rules for this game were that they all had to stick together to find her because there would be a surprise when they did.

It was such a good lie that Jo would have believed it, too, if she hadn't known the clowns had gassed everyone. She just couldn't figure out why. Yes, the people were affluent, but this required much more effort than a simple robbery would have. So she guessed that they weren't after money or credit cards.

"Lauren," Jo asked the woman, "have you found anything yet with the other moms?"

"Jodi has a purse, but all she's got in it is a pack of gum and a battery," Lauren said. "No phones or wallets on anyone."

Jo Martinez wasn't a scout leader, but she did know one cool trick with gum wrappers and batteries. They could actually get a spark out of them to start a fire if the gum wrapper was the right kind with the silver backing in it. Lucas had shown her the trick once, and she hadn't let on that it was somewhat amusing.

"Tell Jodi to keep that handy. It's useful," Jo said at last. "No, let's pick a direction and go."

"If this is a classical labyrinth," Jodi said as she came forward with the gum and batteries, "there is only one way in or out. If this is a maze, we could all get lost."

"That's why Gina is making sure everyone sticks together. So help the kids think this is part of the party, but watch out. How do you know the difference between labyrinths and mazes?" Jo asked her.

Jodi giggled, "I went to Vassar. I got a good education."

"Okay," Jo deadpanned, sad that she'd asked.

"I've got an idea," Lauren told the two of them. "We need to mark the places where we've been so we don't get lost. It's great for hiking. I'll show the kids how to do it."

"This is good," Jo said, surprised at the level of cooperation among women who often cut each other down behind their backs

* * *

Lucas Wahl was walking passed a liquor store on his way to the subway when he noticed Jo's car parted illegally in front of a liquor store. He had shared a few drinks with her before, but he didn't think her drinking had gotten so bad that she had to drown in a bottle during her weekend off. He went to go speak to her inside the store, but instead he dropped to the ground when a killer clown with a service pistol pointed it in Lucas's face.

Behind the clown, several more clowns in disguise ran out of the store carrying the spoils of the robbery. Lucas knew Jo would never willingly cooperate with them. He tried to memorize their features, but he couldn't do it. The clown make-up was too good, and he couldn't see what was underneath it.

After they'd driven away in Jo's car with what was probably her weapon, Lucas urgently called the precinct. "Come on!"

He played several frustrating games of phone tag and hold for the operator until he got through to Reece.

"I was at the scene of the robbery," he said explaining the location and other pertinent details. "The getaway car was Jo's. I'm sure of it. She's nowhere around here at all."

"She was supposed to be off this weekend. She mentioned her niece's birthday party," Reece said. "I'll have to send a uniform to check on why they would have her car without her permission. Come back to the precinct after you give your statement."

"Yes, ma'am," he told her. He wasn't sure he could have gone home without finding out what had happened to Jo.

* * *

Jo was definitely in cop mode. The moms were all assembled doing their mom thing keeping the children entertained. Gina acted like it was perfect the plan for Gracie's party, and the kids were playing along. a few of the kids were coughing, and that worried Jo because she had no clue what the gas that stunned them could have been.

"I hope this doesn't take too long," one of the mothers whispered to her. "These kids aren't toddlers, but they're all going to want to go to the bathroom soon, and it won't be pretty if we don't get out of here."

"We're working on it. Keep everything fun, and keep people moving forward. Mark the paths like Lauren showed you," Jo advised. Then she went up to talk to Jodi.

"So can you tell from the inside if this is a labyrinth of a maze? We need to get out, and if I have to burn it down, I'll take that chance."

"I have been trying to wander off by myself," Jodi said. "It's a maze for sure, and I have no idea how big it is."

Jo looked up to the sky that was darkening. She figured they had to run through it to get to the end before all the light went out. She was also worried for Gina and Gracie, so she checked on her sister-in-law.

"I don't know where she is," Gina said quietly. "I don't know if she never came with us of if she ran off. Not knowing is going to drive me crazy."

"We'll find her. But we have to get some help, so let's keep on going," Jo said, after touching Gina's shoulder to offer comfort.

Gina nodded and went back to her party mom persona to motivate the kids as they tried to find their way out of the maze.

* * *

Reece stood in her office with Lucas, Henry and Hanson all standing before her waiting for instructions. Lucas had just finished filling in the other two about witnessing the robbery with Jo's stolen car as the getaway vehicle. Hanson had still been at the precinct, and Henry came back so he could find out what had happened with Jo.

"We have a speed trap in the neighborhood. We think we can get those clowns," Hanson said, his mouth twitching because they were actual clowns.

Reece tapped her fingers as she thought. "Where did you say Jo was supposed to be?"

"Her niece's birthday party. Sean's side of the family," Mike answered.

"Maybe the clowns stole it from the party," Lucas said.

Mike gave him a disbelieving look, but then his fatherly experience won out. Karen had considered clowns for one of their son's birthday parties, too, but then they decided to get the boy a bouncy castle so the kids could burn off their energy.

"Detective, I need you to take care of the robbery," Reece said to Hanson. To Henry and Lucas, she said, "You two should go visit that birthday party. Make something up, but do it. Find out if Jo is there and okay."

"Those cell phones have GPS. Can't we track Jo's phone?" Henry said in a moment of technological insight.

"It might not lead us to Jo," Lucas reasoned.

"But if it doesn't, it could point us to the same thieving clowns who stole her car," Hanson said.

"Hanson, you take care of the GPS search and the robbery," Reece ordered. "Henry and Lucas, I still want you to get a visual from that birthday party. Now go find Jo and take care of those larcenous lunatics."

Henry gave a quick nod of approval at Reece's use of alliteration, and departed with the others to find out just what had happened to Jo.

* * *

"Jodi, do you still have the gum and battery?" Jo asked as she looked toward the darkening sky.

"Right here," she said as she passed the otherwise empty purse over.

"Okay, kiddoes," Jo said loudly to the mothers and children. "Auntie Jo is going to try to make a torch. It's getting dark, so we need a light to find our way. Just like in that book…"

"Where the Wild Things Are?" one of the boys asked, excited at the thought of setting something on fire.

"Absolutely," Jo said without a clue of what happened in Sendak's classic book.

Lauren put her scouts to action by telling them to gather dried twigs and leaves to use to bundle together for a torch. When they had it, Jo took the gum and battery and prayed for the best. "Don't help me, okay? If one of you boys blows too hard, it might make the fire go out. I'll do this part by myself."

She twisted the wrapper and held it to the opposite ends of the battery. Then she watched as the spark leapt from the battery to the makeshift torch. A few of the kids were impressed enough to oooh and aaah over the effect. She then blew on the spark until it caught fire. It almost didn't take, but thankfully it roared back to life stronger than it had been.

"Okay, troops" she said to the kids and parents. "Let's keep on going. We're almost to the end."

"I've got to go to the bathroom," one of the boys said as he uncomfortably held himself.

"That's a good enough reason for me," Jo said, keeping up her appearance of happiness to motivate everyone.

* * *

Henry and Lucas arrived at the address for Sean's sister Gina, and while there were several cards there it was like walking into an apocalyptic ghost town. Henry knew that because Lucas was quick to tell him that's what he thought was going on.

"Isn't it a little quiet for a kid's birthday party?" Henry asked him suspiciously.

"Maybe they had cake and went down for a nap," Lucas posited. He wasn't sure how old Jo's niece was.

Henry gave him a dubious look and knocked on the front door. When no one came, he knocked louder. Still there was no answer. Then he eyed Lucas to go around back and see if anyone was there.

As the two grown men walked into the yard, Henry first caught sight of a little girl in pink with a party hat sitting forlornly on the back porch. The party was otherwise vacated.

"I told you it was apocalyptic," Lucas said as he pointed to the detritus gathered in the yard.

The girl saw the two men and screamed. "Where's my mom!"

Henry crouched down to make himself look less imposing, and he tugged at Lucas's pant leg to do the same. "We don't know. We're looking for Jo. Do you know Jo? We work with her at the police station. Lucas, show her your badge."

Lucas patted himself down because he wasn't sure he had the work badge with him. When at last he found it, he tossed it across the lawn to where the girl was sitting. She picked it up and studied it seriously.

"Are you Jo's niece?" Henry asked.

"Gracie," she supplied. "It's my birthday, and everyone left me!"

"We're here to help," he said in a calming voice. "Is it okay to come closer?"

"Okay," Gracie said with a wary look in her eyes, so Henry and Lucas approached her slowly as not to spook her.

"Someone took your Aunt Jo's car, and we came to check on her," Henry said.

"I saw it," Lucas interjected since it was his story. "They were dressed as clowns, but they were being very bad."

Gracie looked up at him and whispered, "We had clowns at my party. Suddenly, I fell asleep, and when I woke up, everyone was gone. I don't know what happened."

"That's really scary," Lucas said. "We have someone trying to find your Aunt Jo's car and the bad clowns. They scared me, too. I scraped my knee and elbow on the sidewalk. See?"

While Gracie and Lucas were talking, Henry was sniffing the girl. He had this thinking look on his face. After Luas finally asked him what he thought he'd discovered, Henry said, "Sleeping gas."

To Gracie, Henry asked, "Are the grown ups and other children somewhere else here?"

The girl's lip trembled. "No. I've been looking for them."

"Lucas, you call Reece and Hanson. I'll wait here with Gracie," he said as he sat by the girl. He was tempted to tell her about Abe at her age, but the parental urge passed quickly.

He came back to Henry and Gracie a few minutes later. "Mike found the clowns. One of them had been imbibing adult beverages and talked a lot. The kids and the adults are in this maze on the north side of Long Island. It was a fancy new attraction for rich folks. We could probably make it there before the police do."

"I want my mom!" Gracie insisted. "If you're going to find her and Aunt Jo, I'm going with you."

Henry and Lucas shared unsure looks, but young Gracie was ready to argue. "It's my birthday, and I get what I want. I want my mom!"

Lucas shrugged because the argument was pretty sound for a ten-year-old. "Let's go then."

"Will you at least call Reece and Hanson again to let them know we have Gracie. I don't want to be accused of kidnapping," Henry warned.

"Will do," Lucas agreed and made the call as the trio walked out to where he had parked.

* * *

Upon arrival at the maze, Lucas, Henry and Gracie saw children streaming out of the hedge. Jo was standing with them guiding them out, and she had a burning torch in her hand. Gracie quickly let herself out of the car and ran toward the kids.

"We found you!" a few kids said excitedly. Then a few others shouted to Gina and Jo that they'd found Gracie. A few others mentioned that she was really good at hiding, probably the best ever.

Jo was still directing people out of the maze, but she snapped her head in Gracie's direction, disbelief showing in her eyes. Then she looked at Luas and Henry. The younger man had no sense of shame or embarrassment. Instead, he ran up to Jo and hugged her tightly.

"I was so worried about you," he said, finally letting her go when she ordered him to back off.

"I was worried about you, too, Jo," Henry said with a little more reserve.

She nodded to him, but spoke to her sister-in-law first. "Gina. Over there."

Gina ran to her daughter and enfolded her in her arms. Jo then passed the torch over to Lauren so she could talk with Henry and Luas.

Lucas excitedly told her about what he had been through when he got the clue that something was wrong and the steps that had been taken. Henry added that he knew what kind of gas the clowns had used.

"If Mike can't apprehend then, we might be able to find their hideout. There are only so many places in the area where one can purchase that kind of gas," Henry said.

"Lucas, start making phone calls. We need to get these families home. When, we'll go after the clowns," Jo said.

"How long were you in there?" Lucas asked.

"No idea," Jo said tiredly. "I really liked them in the stories from when I was a girl, but if I never see one again, it won't be too soon."

"Clowns or mazes?" Henry asked with gentle teasing.

"Both!" Jo said, allowing herself to laugh but reigning it in before it could become hysterical.

"Not the best way to spend your weekend off, is it?" Henry asked.

"I've had better," she said, "but family is important. I'll be okay."

Lucas's phone rang, and after answering he passed it over to Henry who spoke to Lieutenant Reece. He told her about his suspicions about the gas and where the hideout might be.

"Lieutenant Reece says they can take it from here. She wants you to get some rest. Do you want a ride somewhere? I'm sure Lucas would be happy to help."

"He's right," Lucas agreed with only a slight indication that Henry had been presumptuous.

"I'd love a drink right now," Jo admitted.

"Well," Henry said thoughtfully, "why don't you both come to the antiques store with me. Abe would love to cook for you, and if he doesn't, I will."

"That sounds like a plan," Lucas said, instantly up for it.

"Okay. Let me just get these families situated, and then we'll go. Not too much can happen at an antiques store, right?" Jo asked rhetorically.

Henry made a dubious face. "You might not want to tempt fate."

Lucas snapped his fingers as he remembered something. "I think those clowns have your service pistol."

"You brought a gun to a birthday party?" Henry asked lightly.

Jo shrugged. "I did. I'll have to report it missing when I do everything else."

"It's good to have you safe," Henry said, and clapped her shoulder.

She nodded and looked around. She was safe, and so were the families. The clowns would be arrested, and the stolen goods would be returned. Sure it was supposed to be her weekend off, but least this wasn't like a typical work weekend. There hadn't been any homicides.


End file.
